08-26-26 or maybe since im in South America now I should follow their date format 26-08-26 anyways coming at you from lima peru folks. I just completed the second leg of my travel, the longest flight which was from Atlanta to here. my next and last flight leaves here around 12:40, and its like 4-5 hrs I think I don't actually want to look bc I have to mentally keep myself from being too aware of time until I get to Mendoza. I had such a beautiful last few days in the lou friends surrounded me and wrote me sweet notes, spent time with me every second that we could! I am so grateful for u guys and as I was telling bigassbug on my last night, ironically the people who will prob miss me the most are the reason behind me taking this giant leap in my life if I didn't have people telling me that they are proud of me, they love me, and they believe in me, I don't know that I would have ever gotten the courage to do what im doing I miss you all already and I love you so much you hoes better come visit sometime. I will be back in a few years, I want to try to at least get halfway through my degree before I take a break and go back around the US to visit. that's not set in stone tho maybe ill get homesick sooner or something ok bye 08-18-26 yooo fam im actually leaving in a week wtf. feeling so much grief tbh. 07-31-26 well chat, here I am. less than a month away from my life changing move out of the country. next week is my last week of work. I have so many incredible things to look forward to. I am literally excited for everything before I leave I am doing a road trip to NOLA with my bestie, I get to see my grandma at the end of the month who I have not seen in person for about 8 years! I will get to hang out with my cousin who I haven't seen since I was 16. I think I will have so many feelings its so strange being in this life in the way that I am in it I will never have all my friends and family in one place. they are about a 20 hour travel time apart and I will be the only one to ever travel back and forth (except for the exception of a few people, maybe) but for the most part, yeah, just me I am going to apply to work at the autistic lesbian horse farm in the andes for a month, unless I can find a cool chef job somewhere for a month instead I think that's the only thing that would top that experience for me. especially bc I would get my own guest house perhaps ill take up needle point or crocheting or something bc I doubt there is internet out there, and either way I want to be more present. that is a huge part of what all of this is about. I secured my tickets for christ the redeemer and Machu Picchu (which I scored a 6am sunrise hike ticket there WOAH) anyways besides all the physical things that happen when you leave your entire life behind and start over, there are so many emotional and body feelings too.. I guess we shall see how my body does with that im hoping to gain the following: -unforgettable experiences -new friends from all over the world -self-discovery -enhance my skills to think on my feet -problem solving -realllllyyyy hoping to cook with some locals either at restaurants or their homes in each country that I visit ok bye love u 07-09-26 I have been betrayed guys my work "bestie" or at least I thought she was, told my boss I am leaving so I was not ready to put in my notice but I went ahead and did it since they asked me if it was true. my final day is august 7th as long as they don't replace me faster than that. weird but its whatever. the day gets closer and closer :) 07-07-26 guys how do u keep working and caring about ur work when u r leaving it and never going back? tips accepted I purchased a massage for myself but its like so hard to book bc nobody is answering and their online platform for booking SUCKS looking at trips on groupon is one of my favorite hobbies I might actually take one at some point so sleepy cos I haven't been able to sleep until like 1am most nights ok love u bye 06-30-26 ok last day of June do you think all my coworkers know that I read lesbian comics at work all day instead of doing work stuff? I reactivated my TikTok and making content can feel so cringe but I don't care I don't care I don't care bc being cringe is being free I am learning a lot and trying to make it my hyper focus cos I wanna make stuff that fun and interesting :D ummmm the closer I get to moving, the much much harder it is to care at all about working I don't mind coming here, I like my coworkers they are nice and funny. even my boss is mostly ok. I had my review and got a raise last week which won't even go into effect until after I am gone... I can't wait to be on adventures all day everyday for a while. ive never stayed at a hostel and these will be my first experiences doing so. I keep thinking about all the fun awesome stuff I am going to do. ok love u bye 06-17-26 feeling so good today tomorrow is Thursday and friday im off bc the district is closed for Juneteenth (beautiful) dentist appointment bc im trying to do every appointment before my insurance is over when I quit my job soon (WOOHOO) today is actually my one year review of my job, my boss told me yesterday she would zoom me later to go over it bc she's actually on vacation as of yesterday at 4pm she did tell me it was all good stuff so thankfully I am not anxious about it started packing got all my clothes and shoes together for vacation still gotta add -swimming attire -toiletries/makeup -accessories -probably a bunch of stuff im forgetting bc I actually hate packing yesterday I was thinking that if there was a business where someone could pack my stuff for me before a trip I would absolutely pay for that service imagine someone comes to your house, washes all the clothes you want to take, folds it up all neatly and has a checklist and everything like they check the weather where you are going etc... seriously I would pay for that chocolate chip cookies and espresso for breakfast didn't have a single espresso martini last weekend, and now I feel I am really missing it so ill probably get one tomorrow tonight, im gonna chill and relax do my errands and final getting ready stuff before I head to Mexico can't wait for my feet to be in that nice warm soft Cancun sand love uuuu 06-15-26 work is boring, so im reading the entirety of dykes to watch out for on archive.org --> check it out if u haven't already vacation loading for Saturday. being cringey not sure how well im doing but im gonna keep trying very sleepy in my cubicle why did we make life be like this? 30 more minutes love u 06-12-26 some things I love I love the library, I love public transport, I love the earth I love transgender people and queers I love fags and dykes I love abortion, I love welfare I love universal healthcare and free education I love community I love food and cooking for people I love you! I love Fridays :) 06-11-26 so I guess me moving is like a full circle moment, bc my mom moved to the US when she was 31 for a better life, and now im moving to Argentina at 31 for a better life. :) how funny is that she also ran away with her boyfriend when she was 16 and I did the same thing with my first girlfriend when I was 16 is this genetics?? 06-10-26 10 days until I am on the beach in Cancun with the lesbians (oh and my family) 77 days until I begin my backpacking trip and subsequently begin living somewhere that is not north america and my whole entire life is completely different ok no big deal im so chill ab it all its all so cool and im fine everything is fine I got this 06-09-26 update im at work and its not that bad -- putting an end to things that don't serve you *does* get easier over time, but some things never become easier. some feelings are a lot harder to reconcile with. 06-08-26 called off work for today. Mondays feel a lot so much better when im not at work why do I always hate work so much always no matter what the job is or who is there or how easy it is, ive always hated it and struggled so freaking much to keep a job regularly. I always still did it, bc the threat of going hungry and not having a home push me to do this. what a freaking joke anyways im grumpy bc now I do have to def go to work tomorrow. sadly I am thankful to have a job that gets me the things I need to be able to survive but the best part about moving and traveling and all the big life plans I have made for the very near future is quitting my job. I can't freaking wait to give that notice and to be able to finally have a day that is the last day!!! ok love u bye 06-02-26 feeling so extremely overwhelmed 06-01-26 happy pride, gays. 05-12-26 felt bad yesterday did t shot feel good today 05-11-26 hi flounder, im back to post more stuff that I probably shouldn't publicly post about on the internet this past Sunday was mothers day an interesting time in the life of someone like me who does not speak to their womb donor my mother is a particular person, I believe she may have several undiagnosed mental illnesses, and, as I get older and work in education I genuinely have been wondering about her skill regression and perhaps learning disabilities/ developmental delays that could have affected her and still do to this day sadly the combination of these things made for a torturous childhood for both my sister and I when I first went no contact with her, and mothers day would roll around i spend my day grieving and being so so angry that I never got to have a caring loving mother who wanted the best for me I have to say, ive led a pretty good life for having to figure things out on my own I have purchased homes, vehicles, created a career for myself, found love more than once, moved wherever I want to live and so on.. I care for myself just fine but I guess that I started having to do that at such a young age by the time I hit my 20s I was more than good at it there is one mother that I honor on mothers day and that is my older sister. she is really the only mother-like figure ive had in my life consistently, so I sent her flowers and cake on this special day my sister really paved the way for me as I was growing up and I will be eternally grateful for her these days, that Sunday is just another weekend. I don't cry about it anymore, yes of course I feel sad sometimes and there are traces of feelings that probably will never go away completely but just dull over time a mother I will never have, and a mother I will never be. xoxo 05-04-26 six flags yesterday teacher appreciation week yadda yadda wanna kiss pretty girls but got my lip pierced so now I gotta wait why is the world so cruel love my life though love you too <3 05-01-26 its may and its friday! gonna hit up Texas Roadhouse with the homie tn and pick out some yarn. wild friday night bois amirite excited to be done with work today bc I have so many fun plans this weekend. <333 ***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*** 04-30-26 I WANNA GO HOME WORKING IS HORRIBLE I HATE IT I say as I sit at my desk eating snacks and scrolling TikTok but I should be outside frolicking and kissing hot girls u guys :( 04-28-26 things nobody tells u about being on testosterone bottom growth happens fast in the beginning for me, and things get so sensitive might have to give up my favorite pair of dickies bc they squeeze the ever living crap out of my crotch now I mean as a cis girl they were already not the most comfy but I guess its time to find new black dickies. also did u know that ur feet can grow when ur on t? that's something else nobody ever told me. if I have to buy all new shoes ill be so excited but also very poor. and sad bc I do have some irreplaceable pairs that are my size at the moment. ok thanks for reading about my dick. bye 04-27-26 ok its Monday again meeting w boss abt my project that I wish I could abandon atp coffffeeeee big hike yesterday with my pals was awesome reminded me I need to work out more new glasses!!! more cute outfit potential ok have a good week love u bye 04-24-26 its finally friday rainy and gloomy Sofia did NOT want to potty outside today but she did what a good pup working, big boss not here so idk if I will actually do anything today preferably not tbh feeling very meh I want to get stronger if anyone has any tips ok love u guys <3 04-22-26 reading Maya Angelou and thinking about how her writing is so captivating im learning a lot of new words and paying attention to the way her words flow and how I feel when I read them I realized a lot of my favorite things are things that make me feel stuff food reading writing when I was a little younger I was such an adrenaline junkie. not much has changed im just a little more scared these days fear is a protector if you don't let it take over I love youuuuuuuuuuu have a good day tomorrow is Thursday finally. which makes the next day friday YA 04-21-26 still on my banana bread kick my other fave breakfast is aldis honey greek yogurt omg life feels good lately, the weather has been pretty nice which is great yesterday I went to art hill with a new friend and got so high I went nonverbal (lets go 420) reminded me of this one time in my early 20s when I went to a 420 party. it was during the week too, and the host passed out assignments for food. 50% of the food to be infused and the other 50% just normal so we could eat it without getting too high. well since were all fucking stoners, the people who were supposed to bring food without weed fucked it up and brought weed food. I get to the party, it's at a loft downtown. I meet the people, we're mingling, we're smoking', we're chilling with a stupid stoner movie and chatting. I get the munchies I go up and get some rotel dip. omg it's so freaking good. I have like 4 more bowls. I feel super duper high. I had brought a really cute 420 cake it was green and had snoop dogg on the top. I blended some vanilla oreos with green food coloring so it looked like weed and crumbled it around the top and bottom of the cake. it had a big "happy 420" on it. fast forward to the next morning, I used to work for Fedex. I wake up at my normal time (4:30am) to get to my shift at 5:45. the room is spinning, I am so fucking high I don't even know what the fuck to do. I check my phone and the letters are dancing around. I think to myself "I can't fucking drive a Fedex truck rn" I see a text from the host of the party - "hey we accidentally all brought infused food so if u still feel high that's probably why" FUUUUUUUUck anyways I ended up calling in sick to work. that's the one and only time ive really greened out. happy belated 420. 04-20-26 had more of a chill weekend. only went out one night processing lots of things James being with me Sunday that was so nice, shoutout James love u back to work, not much to do reading book <3 04-17-26 banana bread for breakfast brought my lunch today don't wanna work starting a new book in the middle of the last one I was reading - I wrote some poetry this month yes, but not much im so excited for tn to spend some time with my friends and decompress anytime I get annoyed I just think about my vacation coming in june and then I think about my big move™ 04-16-26 ok guys I did it *rips band aid off* it was weird but at least its over. I will be at night owl on friday come say hi love u <3 04-15-26 another day being a stand on business ass bitch its tough work but someones gotta do it 04-14-26 fia to the vet today to check her health points got to work a lil late on the one day apparently everyone was looking for me while I was gone (idk why im not that important here) therapy today, so glad, lots of feelings ok go be weird!! love u -- yoooo what happened to all the OG flounderers :( 04-13-26 went to a kick ass classical guitar jazz show with petthecat on friday and then had some yummy drinks and food at platy together the rest of my weekend was very chill I rearranged my bedroom and it's so much more open and nice now, so much room for activities. I wish I had figured out this configuration a long time ago! today I work lots, I gotta stay late (eeeyuckkk) and I have no idea how late bc the higher aboves don't think its important to set out a timeline for things, they kinda just say hey, we need u later than ur reg time today and then u say yes or no and then u don't know anything else like why or how or for how long - ok whatever anyways have a great day love u 04-12-26 computah how do I go outside but nobody perceive me computah how to cry on t 04-10-26 on this Monday my boss asked me to stick around and get some overtime to help with interviews. UGH ok I need the $$$ so I can keep saving for my move but that's so annoying and that means I probably won't go to pinball ;( 04-09-26 only thinking about leaving leaving my job leaving the country leavingggggg let me OUT if anyone has advice for breaking out of the matrix lemme know k thx <3 I saw a TikTok of a lesbian who used to work corporate job (like me) and then left and bought a van and lives by the sea catching fish and making prints of her catch every day I need a life like that I was meant to be breathing salty air messy hair super duper tan no real responsibilities besides keeping myself alive creating loving others and myself that's all im capable of and that's all I want to do anymore -- my coworker and I were talking about how we both had scholarships for college when we were younger. mine was medical career scholarship which was supposed to take me all the way through becoming a surgeon (lore drop) however I realized quickly that without parents to financially support me, even with a scholarship, there was no way I could do it. I had to quit my scholarship and I was extremely depressed and took a corporate job so I could survive this hellscape. which turned into me thinking about how so many medical professionals I have visited are privileged rich white people who have never shared the kind of struggles I have been through. which leads me to think about those who are less privileged than myself. for example people who are visibly disabled, POC, unhoused etc.. and those medical professionals never shared a struggle with anyone like them either. this creates a space where the people saving your life will lack empathy for you and even in 2013 when I was graduating EMT school, the fucking text book still said that POC don't feel pain as much as white people... in 2013.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deadass it said that in a medical textbook. its so sad and terrifying. because giving folks like me a real chance at becoming a nurse, a doctor, a PA, a surgeon would create an environment where people going through their worst or scariest days would have someone who actually understood them and have been in their shoes. someone who would truly be passionate about helping them on an entirely different level. im not saying all rich white people are evil but... anyways. I had to rant about it a little bit more. I guess in the end I can't even be mad about it. I hope that my spot went to someone who was deserving and caring and passionate. My life took me on a much different path and I am very happy with my life and the things that are coming up next. xoxoXOXOXoxxoxoOxOX 04-08-26 working..... my vacation for June was approved even tho I don't have enough pto rn and won't have enough pto then my boss says "we don't usually allow unpaid time off" sorry what? am I in jail or something.. that makes absolutely no sense at all so ur telling me that as a grown ass adult im not allowed to take time off from being here simply bc I haven't built up enough imaginary time off points LOL I will quit right now wtf is wrong with americans -- update, I have glasses now so im a glasses baddie 04-07-26 having a great hair day slept like 16 hrs yesterday -- to all my hopeless 20 somethings I, your transgender queer elder, have something to say as cliche as it is, things do get better the longer u live in ur body the more u find ways to show and share to people how to treat u but it really does all start with u if ppl come into a mess of a car or house, they won't hesitate to leave their trash there. make yourself and ur environment a palace where ppl would be embarrassed to leave their trash or act a fool u have to start by making the space around u beautiful and protect it with all ur might u want a nicer house? treat the one u have as if it were the most expensive mansion in the world, clean it regularly, keep ur things organized, buy pretty things to put inside of it etc. u want ur brain to feel better? make ur head a nice place to live first. go to therapy, feed urself whole foods (not the store, I just mean like real food don't eat Taco Bell for every meal). take ur meds on time and be consistent u want life to feel less chaotic? build routines. make sure u stop staring at ur screens at least 1-2 hrs before a reasonable bed time, take walks at the same time every day, ride ur bike or whatever u like to do.. build routines!!! u want more friends or deeper friendships? guess what.. u have to be the better deeper friend first do u get what im saying? the universe will gift u everything u want but u have to treat the things u have better first bc otherwise u will never get the better things.. u have to build trust in urself first by teaching ur brain that u can do these things. when u become the person u want to be, the things u want in exchange follow u directly. u will not find urself chasing those things anymore they will simply be attracted to u bc of who u are as annoying as it is, i know it works bc I spent so much of my life not wanting to listen and not doing it. and guess what.. it sucked. I was lonely, or had flaky shitty friends. my body felt off all the time. I couldn't get my shit together to save my life. so then I started trying little by little. I improved each category as my capacity allowed. now I am 31. and the first day I woke up as a 31 year old I realized, its finally tomorrow and I have everything I want.. and I didn't have to fight anyone. I didn't have to chase anything. I just became the person I always wanted to be and these things simply landed at my feet. how beautiful is that :) you can do it too. <3 04-06-26 incredible bday weekend still in recovery no pinball for me tn love u 04-02-26 hello its my last day of being 30 as of midnight (well really, 6am when I was born) ill be 31 my mother often told me the story of my birth I was born in the hospital italiano of Mendoza arg after several false alarms, my mother was finally kept at the hospital for birth my grandma and my big sister were present as well as my grandfather my father might have been there, but my mom has been beefing with him since I was 2 so she never included his presence in the story lol anyways my mother had not asked about my gender (no gender reveal) she wanted it to be a surprise ironically enough, the entire family felt that I would be a boy (foreshadowing?) so my nursery had been set up with tender loving care with baby blue and yellow items toys, a basinet with tulle draped around the top and everyone who knew my mother was pregnant gifted her little boy outfits perhaps we would all have been saved a lot of grief if we were all real cool about it and just went with the boy thing ya know my big sister, being 10 years older than myself, was asked to choose my middle name she chose sol - which means sun in spanish my grandfather waited outside the hospital in his big metal car smoking cigars my sister would run out to him every 10 minutes yelling "he's here he's here!!!" my grandpa didn't believe her simply bc it had been hours of this my mother finally got some rest and dozed off for a bit, just for me to wake her up and be born at 6am my father says he cut my umbilical cord crazy that they just let untrained people do that - seems ill advised in my opinion and so I was born, a baby girl everyone was so happy that I had come along now my grandparents and my big sister was so happy she tells me that she wanted to have a little sister bc she wanted to play dolls and dress up alas I was just a lump for a long time before I had a personality by the time I was old enough to be dressed up and stuff by her, she was moving on to bigger and better things as she was a young teen so my nursery still kept me happy and safe with the boy colors and my mother still dressed me in all the free boys clothes she got and that was just the beginning of this crazy life for me 31 years. and I never thought I would even make it past high school. I live for my friends who didnt, and those who couldnt life is precious and every year is a blessing thank you all for being here with me <3 I am surrounded by incredible people loving folx who care about me! no complaints from this department -bday boy 04-01-26 its officially my birthday month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will be 31 on Friday lets gooooooo a lot of folx did not come to the last pinball where I was passing out my invites ;( so if u didn't get one I will give u one later ok love u bye 03-31-26 I don't want to play school administrator today guys someone feel sorry for me 03-30-26 its my birthday week but today I feel kinda low energy I think I used all my cheer already 03-27-26 guys last night I went to the drag show at tschuss and it was actually SO INCREDIBLEEEEEE everyone needs to attend the next one the queens were actually so impressive such high energy, the fits the wigs the flips and kicks were to die for ive been to many many manyyyyy drag shows over the past decade+ but this was truly one of the best ones and there were only maybe 15/20 people in that basement. I had to remove myself after the first round so I wouldn't spend every dollar tipping them (plus it was a weeknight and I had to come to work today) life is beautiful I love art, I love to watch people express themselves and feel in tune with their own spirit its the same reason I love poetry and music and acting creativity puts us in charge of our own world and allows us to turn it into whatever we want <3 03-26-26 its my nephews bday today and I didn't know until my tia told me in the fam gc he is 1 yrs old yay good job lil guy sorry the world is on fire no deep reflections today thinking ab whether the way I feel is just that or if its influenced by the tiny dose of t I did on Saturday. I am so excited to do my next shot and keep going on this journey work work working now bye -- not to brag guys but my life is so cool and fun and sexy and interesting 03-25-26 yesterday I shuffled my papers at work for hours and didn't really accomplish too much I am honestly feeling very checked out of work rn all I can think about is how different my life will be within the year, and how I just want to hang out with my friends and my gf and the boy im dating well im lowkey trying to have gf and a bf just bc it would be so cool and fun you only live once right that's why I can't work too much, there's just not enough time I have taken a break from having something scheduled every day of my life. this week I purposely did not schedule anything and I have no plans until the weekend I have slowed down, slept better, and tried to eat better although idk if that's really working so well but I do feel more well rested. with my bday coming up I want to feel ready and refreshed and energized to do all the socializing I can my bday is on the first Friday of the month so we start with a bang and then celebrate the whole month that the world has been gifted me yes im an aries ok love u bye 03-24-26 guys its getting SO close to my bday this is an invite to my birthday: hello pls come to my birthday party on Saturday April 4th (my actual bday is April 3rd) we will meet at my house around 8 to pregame/carpool and night owl at 9. If u never been to my house just text me and ill tell u where it is. From there, we will just play it by ear but probably whatever places are the best and coolest and I just want to have a fun time with all my friends. I have therapy today! ok love u bye 03-23-26 second kiddo this year that takes their own life at the school district I work at first t shot over the weekend every person ive ever met was at tschuss saw a show with my bestie at cbgb been keeping up with my workout plan (shoutout ami) trying a new yogurt this morning grumpy cos im in pain and didn't sleep good last night hello monday -- update I was extremely locked in at work today and got caught up on so many things. wow. I am a powerful capitalism machine today. 03-22-26 last evening (03/21) I did my first t shot <3 brain feels good body feels good so happy big smile so many support love u friends spent all day with various ppl that I love. good to be alive rn <33 03-20-26 u cannot be my friend if u r not pure of heart I will sniff it out and kick u out picked up my t u guys!! on Saturday around 2pm I will do my first t and if u wanna b there then come to my house I need all the trans support I can get thx the lady at the pharmacy was so rude and mean to me and I cried in my car after but I got my stuff so fuck her tonight me and my homeboy will be out on the town so hide ur girlfriend and boyfriend love u so much bye 03-19-26 life is good im in love 03-18-26 boss musta been bored at home cos she came in today to dick around I guess never understood ppl that would rather be at work than anywhere else???? like u r on spring break GO AWAY or give me ur time off and ill leave and u can finish my stuff for me instead I am working project she gave me, she says lemme review incase I want to change something I said well I hope not bc its 50% done already she says well I thought I would get to see it before... ma'am bffr ok also im so hungry might take my lunch break early 03-17-26 need to lock in and finish my entire spring break project today at work so I can just chill the rest of the week lots of construction happening in the office hard to focus many weird noises and strange men don't like that too much can't wait for it to be over don't wanna do the work but need to locking in... update @ 3pm sadly I did not lock in today guys only locked into my virtual drs appts but I am going to officially be on t soon and I am back in therapy yay life is good and maybe ill get my work done tomorrow :) 03-15-26 living my life in several parts at the same time 03-13-26 hi its so windy outside today wtf gotta get some real work done today since yesterday I didn't really do anything at work rock climbing later my bestie is going to join us! yay guys my work crush is getting out of control <3 03-12-26 its actually ridiculous and homophobic that I have to work every day I need time off to just be a little fairy anyone wanna give me a ton of money so I can just do that instead will cook for u 03-11-26 banana honey parfait for breakfast yum icy cold water coffee hopefully I don't meet anyone that makes me want to yell today happy wednesday <3 03-10-26 happy tuesday first appt with my new therapist today im excited!! not sure where we will even start, I haven't had a new therapist in a long time I have been in therapy for many years and my last therapist booked up all the way while I had no insurance so I couldn't go back to him which is such a shame but oh well my coworker keeps venting to me about her horrible abusive bf and I keep telling her she needs to leave. am actually highly concerned about her fr.. I hope she listens to me. I have actually helped ppl escape abusive situations too many times to count and while its nice to help its so weird the mental gymnastics people go through in those situations anyways life is pretty good still, any day above 70 degrees makes me want to be alive so that's good news. I feel that my inner world is becoming calmer and better each day. I heard someone somewhere say that the way you react to things in life speaks volumes about your inner world, and I find it to be so true. my inner world is calm, grounded, level headed (for the most part) and I do think that shows in the way I conduct myself in my everyday life. my coworker feeding me vitamin d pills lets go! on Friday im going back to climbing.. oy vey I hope it goes well! ok love u bye <3 03-09-26 had a great weekend, found a new therapist 03-07-26 if ur reading this i seriously love u having gay guy music video time with my hair wrapped up in a plastic bag (protein treatment for curls) my dog laying next to me cool rainy breeze enters through the window waiting for my best friend to come up and have lunch later on i’ll hang out with a beautiful girl and i have nothing to complain about life is so beautiful and perfect wow 03-06-26 guys wtf my life is so freaking amazing and im so happy 03-05-26 phases of queer dating in no particular order pls lemme know what im missing -1st date -1st 48hr/72hr date -gifts (flowers, chocolate, art w/e) -making playlists -making art of/for one another -eventually merging into one person there are some parts of queer dating which I quite enjoy and others which I no longer subscribe to. my experience of queer dating has been thorough and very different each time but I think I have done most of the things on the list. wbu? 03-04-26 great to wake up, great to drive miss kay great to have beautiful friends and my body works the way I need it to im taking care of myself im feeling good im so thankful I love u! 03-03-26 3:33 on 3/3 life moves entirely too quickly and too slowly all at the same time realizing that this paradoxical view of things so black and white are always both right at the same time. always right and always wrong u get what I mean? ok see ya <3 03-02-26 I want to write in there all of my thoughts and life happenings but I feel it would expose me too much. although I will tell u in person if u ask, life is good but damn the universe is such a fucking bitch sometimes she gives me everything I ever wanted and needed but won't ever let me hang on for very long, and even if I am upset I also know this is because each time this happens there is something even greater on the other side I challenge myself to think and and wonder, how could it be even better than this? I wished for these things for so long, manifested and worked for them for so much time. I am here now in the present i rejoice and mourn, what an incredible combination life is full of grieving life is full of celebrations life is full crying feels good, sex feels good, food feels good I am in heaven, this is the good place <3 03-01-26 having lots of fun! 02-28-26 chicago was great love dorothy’s food was yum flicked chicagos bean time for the train home soon! 02-25-26 yes folks inesisneverfar and I are taking the town tomorrow we are so fortunate that fridays chi forecast is 60 yipee friday is both my telehealth appt for transing my gender and renewing my passport wow work doesn't feel so bad when u have a 4 day weekend coming the next day so im straight chillin at job today dinner with ami last night I made gnocchi with my secret Italian sauce recipe (its not that secret I can give u the recipe if u want it) then I read their tarot and it was epic. love reading tarot for ppl who appreciate the craft life is so good soooo goooood im a slut for a voice note if u wanna talk to me just send a voice note I will def listen to it asap & keep it forever. ok love u bye bb 02-24-26 its tuesday. making boy food for the homie hang later tn. gay movie and boy food!! Yay thank u to everyone who barked for me at pinball when I wore my "bark for me" shirt will def be purchasing more command shirts just to see how far y'all will go all who bark will get to autograph my t shirt ok gotta get back to the capitalist sacrifice ttyl xoxox 02-23-26 writing in my niche blog instead of doing all the work stacked up on my desk classic it was a really restful and energizing weekend. spent time with people that I really love yesterday and it feels so nice to start out the week with that feeling stored warmly in my chest why did it get so cold all of a sudden? there is even flurries going on outside wtfff I need to be more productive cause I am off Thursday and Friday to go to Chicago which will also be so very very cold but I will be with my good friend flounder user inesisneverfar <3 hope everyone has a great week k love u bye xoxo -- hi its still Monday and I have to tell you that the BEST yogurt ever is the greek yogurt from aldis the honey greek yogurt and its so yummy and smooth and delicious that I want to eat the whole thing in one sitting. 02-22-26 good morning flounder, its 7:33am and im awake bc Sofia had to pee now I can't go back to sleep. i started cleaning my room and putting my stuff away, it feels nice to have my space clean and organized <3 thinking about taking Sofia to the pet cafe but unsure if my energy levels will last bc I am going skating later this evening. ate too much candy and stayed up late, my 12 year old self was so excited last night. ok love u hope ur having a good weekend <33 02-20-26 woke up felt like I was dying took double dose of allergy med and took off work was kinda eyeballing taking a sick day for a while, I think I picked a great one tbh. the adhd med saga continues. I was sold a 90 day dose of 2x my prescription so double the regular dose (incorrectly) and they won't take it back plus they are capsules so I cannot just take half. fml Sofia seems to be ill, got her some pain meds & she has an appt on Monday. so glad I am feeling a bit better so I can still go out to eat tn, and then roller skating tomorrow :) <3 02-19-26 time flies by so fast, work is getting busy, procrastinating my long list of tasks by updating flounder instead love my friends and the community I have built around myself. the people I gravitate towards are a reflection of myself and my inner world. having a hard time reading anything lately. missed the window to pick up my adhd meds and had to re-order them. classic. now im procrastinating getting them again. also classic. gotta do grocery store again wtf why can't the food just be at my house already? Chicago next week so many new spots I want to eat at. excited to renew my docs and have them in my hand again. my car that was totaled a million years ago is finally getting paid off by the insurance on Friday (wow took freaking long enough) ok gonna go work now even tho my tummy hurts (dw as always, I am vvvv brave) what's something u always procrastinate?